my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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