Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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