Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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