I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
