i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i came on her dog
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
