Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I wish I could punch you in the face.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize