This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
