why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
