she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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