A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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