It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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