It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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