I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
