wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
