Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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