I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
