I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
