I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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