On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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