you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize