whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
