I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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