I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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