if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
