What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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