Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
