i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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