i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
