Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
