I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
No subtext here. People are naked.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
