what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
