I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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