I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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