Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
