if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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