If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
