it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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