My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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