What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
