Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
