He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
