Whod you bang
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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