So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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