the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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