she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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