Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
