I think im going to throw up on grandma
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
