yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Let's get the cat blown out
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize