The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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