Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
