Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize