was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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