Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
now i know why i became what i already was.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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