Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
