whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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