She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
