I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think I died a long time ago.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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