too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
