I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
