Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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