He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I wish there were birth control emojis
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
