garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
