my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
