Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
