Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I bet he comes in French.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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