Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
did i walk over a car last night?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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