also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
