Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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