I accidentally had phone sex last night
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
